Values Series: Choice

Choose love 

Choose authenticity  

Choose to act 

Choose to eat the frog 

Choose to reach out 

Choose to compliment her

Choose to thank them 

Choose to stay safe

Choose to be an ally

Choose empathy 

Choose to keep the circle small

Choose hope

Choose to eat the cake

Choose to wear the dress

Choose your family first

Choose to sweat

Choose your friends 

Choose to take the leap

Choose to cry

Choose to show your vulnerability 

Choose to slow down 

Choose to bin it off

Choose to dance in the kitchen 

Choose to say no

Choose to put your health first 

Choose valuing your mental health 

Choose to ask the question 

Choose to reply when you are ready 

Choose to turn the camera off

Choose to show up

Just choose

Values Series: Harmony

I considered two questions when writing this blog and wanted to draw on my experience of harmony at it’s finest.

What can we learn from multi-cultural societies about living in harmony with each other?

How do we create harmony in our schools?

Peace and harmony are what many of us strive for, especially when life is busy and stressful (our current climate, for example!) and we often long to be somewhere else, away from it all, preferably on a beach with a cocktail, (or is that just me?!) What we are really craving of course, is that sense of calm and alignment, where we feel that all aspects of our lives are balanced and moving forwards at a pace that is manageable. We want those around us to have a sense of harmony too.

Is it possible to create harmony when we have so much social inequality in our society? Surely, this is something we should strive for. Harmony is humanity at it’s best.

So, what can we learn from other cultures that pride themselves on living harmoniously? Let’s look at Singapore as an example of a country that treasures harmony. Singapore is a multi-racial and muti-ethnic country and is one of the most religiously diverse countries in the world. Despite it’s population equating to only 0.08% of the total world population, the country sees diversity as it’s strength, with an eclectic mix of Chinese, Malay, Indian and Eurasians within the diverse community.

Religions don’t just co-exist together, they thrive together. A stroll down South Bridge Road reveals temples, mosques and synagogues side by side. I’ve walked these streets and there is a feeling of respect and acceptance, there’s no segregation and it feels like ‘the norm’. It’s magical to see such a mélange of people with diverse beliefs all going about their business in harmony.

Despite being multi-cultural, Singaporeans observe events and festivals together as one. Whether this is Chinese New Year, Deepvali or Christmas, there is no divide or segregation, just humans celebrating together. The citizens even have a mutually understood language – Singlish – that is used to keep everyone connected! Even the signage seen on the MRT promotes respect and equality with firm boundaries. There is also a national Racial Harmony Day to celebrate the nation’s success in being a racial harmonious country.

Singapore is also known for it’s commitment to environmentalism and is known as Asia’s greenest city, with award winning vertical gardens (If you ever get the chance to visit Gardens by the Bay then you’ll be astounded!) and self sustainable eco systems within the city, despite it’s high population density. The forward thinking dedication to the environment reflects the respect the country has for it’s citizens mental health as well as it’s impact on it’s surroundings.

What can we learn from all this and how can we use it to create harmony in schools?

As school leaders, we serve whole communities, not just the pupils within the walls of the school. We care deeply about our families, we make connections with local businesses, we take part and contribute to local events. We have a responsibility to influence to create harmony there too, because this impacts positively on our children.

When you look at the values that are associated with a harmonious culture, you can see that there is a great deal of respect and empathy for those within the community, as well as the environment. So creating a school which is based on values and relationships, where children are actively taught the importance of respect and compassion, helps nurture more empathetic citizens and creates a sense of harmony within the school.

Creating a culture where children celebrate difference and diversity and have a love for one another is paramount to a harmonious environment. Inclusion is fundamental. Educating the children about different relationship preferences, different ethnicities and beliefs, abilities and disabilities, for example, gives them the opportunity to empathise, understand, and become curious about equality. It also helps children to compile their own set of values and evaluate these, which is key aim of a an ethical curriculum. A curriculum steeped in values promotes a pedagogical philosophy based on valuing yourself, others and the environment as well as developing character traits to become forward thinking and globally minded citizens. Imagine a school community so eclectic that everyone fits in!

In nurturing a harmonious work culture within the school, the emphasis is on building trusting relationships with the team. Giving humble but clear feedback and an emphasis on ‘high challenge – low threat’ support is highly effective. Investing time and sincerely caring deeply about your colleagues helps them feel valued and, when everyone feels like they are valued and that they have a voice, these become firm foundations for a harmonious workplace.

Values Series: Authenticity

Authenticity is one of my core values. It aligns closely with my other core values and is an integral part of my being. Authenticity is my own personal non-negotiable. It’s the visible and inner consistency that I hold myself able to, in both my personal and professional roles and it’s a value I recognise and greatly admire in others. 

Authenticity is about deeply knowing yourself, owning your strengths and your vulnerability, showing up, serving yourself and others to the best of your ability and being true to your values. 

I think you have to be strong to be authentic. You have to commit and invest time in understanding yourself and to the ethics you hold true. Consider this: a life time of experiences, and other people’s opinions and beliefs will shape your own authenticity. This may lead you to perpetuate your own misinformed beliefs which can manifest in unconscious (and possibly ignorant) learned behaviours and a misalignment with your own core values. Simply put, a lack of understanding about yourself does not serve you, or others well!

The last few years have challenged me to learn about and develop myself, and have allowed me to be comfortable in my own skin and in my own mind. Diverse experiences have enabled me to align my core values and embrace who I am. I embrace and accept my vulnerability, it’s a tool to make me stronger.

Like everyone, I have experienced setbacks and hardships, breakthroughs and deep joy, in both leadership and in my personal life. One source of joy for me was becoming a Headteacher in July 2019. This is a role to which I bring my true self to the front line. Headship is not for the faint – hearted!! I find it uncomfortable to ‘wear a professional mask’ to work and I’m truly a ‘heart on sleeve’ person, and so I’m a genuinely transparent leader. To look at, I’m not the stereotypical headteacher you see on the Google images! My hair is short and shaved on one side, I have tattoos and a sense of style that is perhaps not what is often expected. But I am happy to challenge the Headteacher typecast! I don’t need to wear a professional mask because I am a professional. 

There’s a danger that when you mask who you are you attract the wrong vibes, the wrong people and you make poor decisions based on appeasing others. You can waste a lot of energy worrying about what others think. I prefer to focus my actions around my values and I find that I’m attracted to others who do the same. I’ve been shaped by some inspirational, values driven leaders in my life, and my PLN and trusted colleagues continue to guide me, but ultimately, my self- esteem is now high enough that I can champion myself. 

Positive self talk and confidence within oneself can often be mistaken as arrogance, especially in women. I believe in humility, another of my core values, and those who know me well know that I am very much an introvert. Does that surprise you from reading the above? Introverts do not always have low self esteem! The self efficacy I have stems from a humble self-worth, and a spiritual self acceptance that has developed over time. In a recent Gretchen Rubin quiz to identify which of 4 tendencies I have (when responding to expectations), I was surprised to be labelled a ‘rebel’! I wondered whether there was some conflict between being an introvert and being a rebel. Rebels can described within this framework as:

Individuals who seek to live up to their own identity and values. They place a high value on authenticity and self-determination and bring an unshackled spirit to what they do. They choose to act from a sense of choice, of freedom. 

This resonated a lot with me. This is another dimension to my diverse and authentic self! 

To me authenticity is:

Knowing your values

Staying true to yourself

Showing courage and vulnerability

Admitting mistakes and asking for support

Being humble and having integrity

Being kind to yourself and others